How to Train Your Droid: A Guest Post by Rey

Hi, everyone out there in cyberspace, or a galaxy far, far away. Remember in Rapunzel’s post when she mentioned having a co-blogger? Well, that’s me – I’m an amigurumi Rey from Star Wars, and I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you.

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I don’t know if any of you have seen The Force Awakens (you probably have, I hear it’s popular, which pleases me), but there will be no spoilers in this post. I don’t particularly like discussing some events from that time in my life, even though I’m a crocheted version of the character and I didn’t actually live through it.

Anyway, I’m a scavenger, not a crafter, so I wasn’t sure what to write about when Claire recruited me for this job.

“A lot of my followers are Star Wars fans,” she said. “I’d really like to have you contribute. Maybe boost my page views.”

“Do you want me to talk about some Star Wars fan theories?” I asked. Before you ask, no, I don’t have insider information on who so-and-so’s parents are, or why Event X happened. Unfortunately. Believe me, people have asked.

“No,” she said. “Too many spoilers. I’ll keep thinking.”

In the end, while Claire was working on an essay, I had an idea: I could write about BB-8, my crochet droid companion. Claire likes making things to go along with her amigurumi, and she correctly assumed that I would enjoy having BB-8. However, just like I pretty much have Movie Rey’s personality, BB-8 is a pretty labor-intensive little droid. I thought it would be helpful to write a user’s guide with 3 things to know about BB-8, helpful for me in any case and possibly you, if you own a droid. At the very least, Claire will be happy to have another post on her neglected blog.

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1. Know the programming

It’s always important to know the inner workings of your droid. At the very least, make sure you know where the off and mute buttons are. Of course, it’s bad form to press either of these buttons without your droid’s permission, but there are times when you’re sneaking around a spaceship and your droid just won’t stop beeping, and you know what they say about desperate times.

For BB-8, here are several helpful quotes (spoiler-free) from The Force Awakens. The first is an enthusiastic review from Poe that admittedly does not give us much practical information:

He’s a BB unit! Orange and white, one of a kind.

And a much more practical one from, well, me:

He’s a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator.

Ideally your droid will come with an owner’s manual, but sometimes you find a droid without. So it’s worth doing your research.

2. Learn to communicate

It’s never been clear to me why some people can understand droids and some can’t. I happen to be one of the lucky ones who understands the complicated beeping noises they emit. Every droid is different; for example, R2-D2 sounds a good deal different than BB-8, and I have a harder time understanding him. It’s similar to different dialects or accents of the same language. Canadian French sounds different than Parisian French (or so Claire tells me). That said, since this is a guide to understanding your BB-8, here are three common phrases to know:

  • Beeeeep, beep-beep-beep: My antenna’s bent, I could use some help.
  • Beep! Beep! Beep!: A mailman just walked by! You’re under attack! Call for help! Signal the Resistance!
  • Be-eep, whirrrrr: I might have just tracked mud onto your kitchen floor…

3. Droids have feelings too

Droids are very intelligent – so intelligent that they have become sentient, which is a whole complicated debate I don’t want to get into here. They are capable of understanding you and carrying on a conversation (see point 2), as well as completing complicated missions for rebellions and other secret organizations. It’s easy to think of them as a machine, like you would view a spaceship (even ones that make the Kessel run in 14, I mean 12, parsecs) and pay only enough attention to keep them in working order. In reality, droids need as much attention as humans do. They are faithful companions, and you should treat them just like you would treat an Ewok or a Wookie. (That said, I would definitely not recommend giving a crossbow to a droid. Or to a Wookie, either, unless you’re certain you can trust them.)

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Do you have anything to add to my list? What kind of posts would you like to see from me in the future?

About the Author

IMG_0809Rey is a Star Wars amigurumi who enjoys scavenging for yarn scraps (they’re easy to find in Claire’s house), building things out of books (also easy to come by), and spending time with her droid, BB-8. She enjoys exploring outside and climbing trees, which usually leads to her being covered in dirt, but never sand – she hates sand, it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. People often ask her if she has seen all the Star Wars movies. The answer is yes, and she’s just as eager as you to see the 8th episode.

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4 thoughts on “How to Train Your Droid: A Guest Post by Rey

  1. Grace says:

    I loved your post, Rey! 😀 I haven’t seen all of the Star Wars movies (only a couple), but since I pretty much live in a house full of nerds and fangirls, I’m sure I will soon. 😉 BB8 is so cute, and especially Claire’s crocheted version. Tell Claire I said hi! (and that I totally understand your dolls coming up with ideas while you write essays! It happens a lot around here. 😉 )

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    • Claire says:

      Thank you for your kind words about my post, Grace! There’s no shame in not seeing all the Star Wars movies; Claire hadn’t watched any of them until this December…don’t tell her I told you. 😉 I will pass along your compliments to Claire – I do like having a little BB-8 companion. I’m sure she’ll like hearing that your dolls come up with posts while you write essays, too. I have a feeling there will be a lot more of that in the future. 🙂

      -Rey

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    • Claire says:

      Aw, thank you so much for nominating me, Grace! That completely made my day! 😀 I’m excited to do the quote of the day challenge, I’ll get to work on my posts…it makes me super happy to be nominated!

      Like

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